Beloved Mom and Dad,

Can I have some money for Krav Maga lessons?
Wikipedia link.

As you know, I live in a section of Madrid known for it’s lower socio-economic standing. At times there are ruffians scurrying about. It occurs to me that, despite my size and somewhat hostile overall demeanor, I might not be able to repel a certain element known to sometimes frequent this part of town. This is a concern, not only to me, but to my friends who, as you may know, are generally smaller and weaker than even I.

I think Krav Maga, with it’s emphasis on defense and practical movements, would be the sort of training I could rely upon.

Additionally, with my new lifestyle of being essentially broke all the time, I don’t often get outside, as I have been overcome as of late with the need to be working as much as possible, to ensure fiscal stability, not only for myself but for those who depend upon me.
This has led to a deterioration of my physical health. I’m just not in shape. I feel that Krav Maga lessons could impart a certain scheduled activity that might allow me to live a more healthy balanced lifestyle.

As always, I remain your loving, if somewhat meek, son,
~ash